I used to be a working mom working 40, sometimes 60 hours a week. Take into account the 45-minute drive to and from work, then the pick-up and drop off of the kids and you factor that I was only ever home with my kids for 2-3 hours during wake hours. I remember listening to my SAHM (stay at home mother) friends about how busy their life was or how stressful things were and I would think to myself “I wish I had your problems!”
I became a SAHM after the birth of my third child, mainly due to the ridiculous costs of child care, but that’s for another day. I sit here now humbled and choking on my previous thoughts because boy did I have it all wrong!
Let me help explain what a SAHM deals with on a daily basis. Unlike my adult co-workers I now spend my days with little co-workers that can’t wipe their own butts, can’t make their own food and throw tantrums about every hour. My personal space no longer exists. What does a lady have to do to get a moment of alone time in the bathroom!? I mean really folks, going to the bathroom is on an emergency basis only! I’ve given it a lot of thought about what qualifies one to be a SAHM and this is the conclusion I’ve come to:
Master Negotiator
One must possess the quality of negotiating. You have to be able to talk your child into doing something he doesn’t want to do without inflicting world war III. You must be able to convince your children it is nap/bed time and getting out of their bed isn’t an option.
Short Order Cook
I hate this one! I’ve always loved cooking but one thing I can’t stand is making multiple different meals. I refuse to do so the majority of the time but sometimes it’s a matter of choosing your battles. I have one child who only eats scrambled eggs and another that decides he can only eat over medium. Making a sandwich isn’t as easy as it sounds! One will only do grape jelly while the other does strawberry and then they each have to have their sandwich cut differently. The demands of my customers are outrageous.
Maid
This is a given but every SAHM is constantly cleaning up messes. If not toys, it’s spilled drinks or better yet pee. I remember thinking being home all day meant I would get a lot done, but that’s the biggest joke of all time! I’m lucky if I can get much done in a day. You’re constantly cleaning the kitchen from breakfast, lunch and dinner so when you do get time you’re doing laundry and picking up kids messes in between. Not much time is left to clean bathrooms or organize the house.
Motivator and psychiatrist
It is now your sole responsibility to teach your children how to be a functioning human. You will have to teach them everything from tying their shoes and eating with utensils, to learning manners and being a contributing member of society. WOW…this is a huge responsibility! It’s hard enough to know what to teach children, let alone how to teach them. Children come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. This makes parenting difficult; no matter how many kids you have. Parenting a passive child is quite different than parenting a strong willed child. I like to call it motivation but let’s be real you are really using a little bit of reverse psychology on them. It takes lots of practice but one usually masters this art after many failed attempts.
Warden
This is the worst part about being a parent! In order to be an effective parent you must constantly be policing what your children are doing. Rules (and laws which I tell my children) must be enforced. No one loves to discipline their children and hear them cry and throw fits, but it is an absolute must. You must be able to hold up and stand your ground even when you’re exhausted and ready to give in.
This is the only job that doesn’t get sick days, vacation days, or holiday breaks. There’s no recognition or rewards for overachieving. You will never get a bonus or a promotion, in fact sometimes more work children will get added.
Parenting is the hardest thing! There’s no amount of training or books that can prepare you for being a parent. The qualifications are extensive yet rewarding. Being a SAHM is definitely the hardest job out there but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’m not going to lie I do find myself sometimes wishing I could go to work and let someone else take my responsibilities for the day, but then I remember what my reward is in the end.
Let’s take a moment to tell all SAHM’s great job! People will always think you do “nothing” but just remember you are the most hardworking, dedicated employee out there. Your clients will one-day thank you for everything you’ve done.
