I’m failing as a mom and I’m happy about that

Motherhood is the toughest job out there!  There’s no manual telling us how or what to do.  The day you enter into motherhood is amazing yet terrifying at the same time.  I remember the day I had my first child.  I didn’t think about anything except how my life has just changed for the best and how I was going to give him the world…for about a whole 3 minutes!  Being wheeled into the recovery room (due to an emergency C-section) I was pushed into the corner next to my son where he was getting checked out and wrapped tightly into this human burrito like bundle.  The nurse looked at me and said “Are you ready to breastfeed?”  That’s the moment I realized this isn’t an easy job and no one, not even the nurse, can best tell me how to do this thing called motherhood.

The first day home from the hospital as a mom meant I was on my own; with the exception of my husband, but he was more lost than I was.  I didn’t have a nurse to run in and give me more diapers when poop exploded up his back or he cried to no avail.  I went immediately to the computer and filled my head with all these do’s and don’ts:

1. If your baby sleeps on their stomach they may suffocate but if they sleep on their back they may spit up and suffocate
2. Formula and store bought baby food causes cancer
3. Only limit television time to 1 hour a day or your child may develop ADD

Okay okay these are a bit extreme, but you understand what I’m saying and the feeling of anxiety one would get.

So, here we are today…I’m watching my children play and thinking about all the things I fail at:

1. I’m constantly ignoring my kids

I ignore the fact that the mud they’re smearing all over themselves may stain.  I ignore the fact that their clothes don’t match or the fact that they are running around in nothing but underwear; sometimes accompanied by cowboy boots.  I ignore the fact that both boys are spitting at each other in the back of the car.
I’m ignoring these things because they are kids and these are the things they do.  The mud they have running down their hands and feet are the memories they’ve made playing outdoors and enjoying the land God gave us.  The Spiderman shirt and orange shorts is my three year old’s attempt at dressing himself, learning a bit of independence.  Let’s be real here…who’s going to judge what your child’s wearing besides you!?  The laughing I hear emerging from the back due to the back and forth spitting is my children building a bond and having the time of their lives.  Do we spit at others?  Obviously not, but they are doing it because they think it’s funny and the laughter I hear from both children is pure bliss!  Who would ever stop such an angelic sound?

2. My kids go days without veggies

Okay this is a little exaggerated, it’s happened only a few times that they’ve actually gone DAYS without a vegetable, but still.  It’s already hard enough to try and make sure that your kids are getting enough water in a day, then add in the doctor’s recommendation of milk consumption a day, and the constant worry of chemicals and GMOs added to every ounce of food produced in the country.  It’s too much!  There’s days when I’m exhausted and I’m at my wits end.  Fighting with my three year old to eat every sliver of his green beans just isn’t worth it!  I hate hearing “mom I don’t like the green stuff” over and over again.  I choose my battles and some days I just want to make it through the day with some sanity left over.

Then there’s the times when my kids are having a great day, so you know what I do….I treat them to something special like Chick-fil-a.  Crazy I know!  Sometimes my kids have fast food or even worse…POPSICLES for a snack!  I have to remind myself they’re kids!  My parent’s didn’t do half the stuff I do to ensure my kid’s meal is balanced and as organic as possible, and I turned out just fine.

3. My house tends to look like a tornado hit it daily

I don’t know how my mom did it growing up but our house seriously looked like the cleaning fairy came every day and cleaned the house with her magical sparkling fairy dust.  I cannot remember one time that it was ever messy and oh does that make me feel like a failure every day!  I will spend hours cleaning up the kid’s toys on top of all the time I spend cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, etc.  I don’t have time, or let’s be honest the energy, to pick up the bucket of blocks a third time that same day after my son decides to dump them all over the living room.  Seriously child…I just spent an hour cleaning the living room alone!  Let’s not even talk about the master bedroom!  I can’t remember the last time I dusted or vacuumed in there!

Here’s the truth: kids are kids.

They are not perfect, they don’t have common sense, and honestly their memory making and imaginary growth are more important to me than a perfectly sparkling house.  Why do I try to put on a facade that I’m a Stepford wife to my friends and family?  What’s the worse that’s going to happen?  They may see I’m a real person with (gasp) children that act like monster’s children!

I could go on and on about my failures but here’s the point…we need to stop judging ourselves and stop trying to keep up with the Kardashians (or insert any “perfect” family).  I quote that heavily because no one is perfect.

Let’s let our kids be kids and enjoy these moments we have because … time goes by WAY too fast!  The “perfect” mom was invented by the movies, media, and people who like to pretend to be something they’re not…it’s not real.

I’m proud to say I’m failing at motherhood and I wouldn’t have it any other way!