Body after baby is stressful enough without worrying about stretch marks and feeling insecure. I have always been a confident person, at least everyone who’s ever known me would say that. What most people don’t know is that I’ve been extremely self-conscious about my body since puberty when boobs started to develop and boys became my priority. Growing up with this insecurity has always weighed on me and created a lot of stress; stress to try and be perfect.
I remember right before delivering my first child I got super bloated…I’m talking kankles and all. I hated having pictures taken of me and opted to stay out of the memories being made because of the way I looked. I’ve never cared what people have thought about me, EXCEPT when it came to my body image. Just hours after giving birth I looked at pictures posted on social media in disgust. I hated that my family posted pictures of me because I saw myself as extremely disgusting. It wasn’t until about a month after giving birth that I had a major reality check. Something was wrong with me! Something that would change my body forever and something that can’t be removed no matter how much exercise I do…STRETCH MARKS
I didn’t realize the amount of stretch marks being painted across my body while I was pregnant because of how tight my skin always looked. Once the bloating went down after my cesarean I could clearly see the amount of stretch marks laid out across my stomach, hips and even breasts. It looked like a horribly botched job! My stomach had swirls of stretch marks in a circle over my stomach; I hated every single mark!
Reality hit me and I had to come to grips with what had just happened. I just carried a child, the most precious thing and it destroyed my body in ways I couldn’t fix. Losing weight made my marks saggy and more predominant. Once I had my second and third those same marks just got thicker; like I’m a walking billboard screaming “I’ve had children and they did a number on me!”
After much time of coping I’ve realized, I need to cherish these stretch marks. It took time of reflecting and getting over the jealousy of others not having any, but I eventually became thankful. There are many women who can’t have children and want nothing more; they would love to have stretch marks if that meant holding their child in their hands. I wasn’t only blessed with one child but three which again many other women struggle with having multiple. I am thankful that God entrusted me to care for these littles.
These stretch marks I carry with me are a reminder. A reminder of the scares, morning sickness, laughs, kicks, tears and joy I went through in just 9 short months. They are the stories of a mother to be and I can’t wait to share with my littles what each stretch mark means and the things I went through while carrying them. I wouldn’t trade these marks for anything and cherish each one stamped on my skin.
With Love,
Jackie
